Dear Hamish and all those at HLM. 

What have you done to my car ???? 

I brought you a perfectly sensible, well mannered car, a car you could take to see your Grandma and she’d approve of, a car that cared about small animals and children and a car that tried to leave the rubber on the tyres…… where it belongs.   

Some 4 hours later you handed me back the keys to a raving psychopath!!!! 

Now any sort of over exuberance with the loud pedal unleashes a demon from beneath bonnet that pushes you back in the seat and holds you there simultaneously trying to remove your teeth, one at a time, with a pair of pliers whilst the tyres struggle for grip in just about any gear and the torque steer trys to rip your arms out of their sockets all you can do is hang on and try to keep an eye on the road as your eyeballs are turned to liquid by the acceleration and the gooey residue that was once your brain runs out of your nose !! The gentle prrr has gone to be replaced by a snarl so angry it could curdle milk… whilst its still in the cow !  Never have I driven a car so eager to kill the occupants, never have I driven a car that reaches 3 figures, sticks two fingers up, and surges onwards towards speeds that make whats left of your vision blurry.  

Then lift off and the demon climbs back in its box and the gentle loving nurturing side of the car returns, easing you homewards, caressing and caring for you…… until next time the right foot gets a bit heavy and the loud pedal gets a bit to much pressure……….. 

Ive had 3 people ride in the car so far, and each of them has proclaimed “Jesus “ when the demon is let loose, I have to correct them, I believe the proper phrase should be “ Hamish “ after all I don’t think it was Jesus that tuned my car.

 Thanks guys and girls, Im lovin’ it.

 2006 Volvo S60 T5 Geartronic.

Stated figure 296 bhp at the wheels.

 Best regards,

 David Hamilton

Received via email on Monday 7th April 2008

Thanks Nat,
 
that makes total sense as if you knock about 10% transmission loss off 280 BHP and 400ish NM you get 252 WHP and 380 NM (My dyno results).  Brilliant, my car really is that powerful - I've been dropping it into conversation with a few friends (quoting 280 and 400) who own sporty cars but wasn't confident I was getting my numbers right, but I am!
 
Don't get me wrong - it drives like it has all that power/torque and more but the dyno results were confusing me - I've read about wheel and crank power/torque but hadn't understood it correctly.  It's all fallen together now - glad I asked.  I've put off mentioning it as I realise you may have been questioned on this before. 
 
I've also confessed having it remapped to my wife now but I've reassured here it'll pay for itself in lower fuel bills - eventually!  I am getting 5-10% better economy on a combined cycle - mostly town driving.  I appreciate your patience in keeping me informed.
 
Regards to you both, Huw.